I know, I know. The title of this post may seem like a total contradiction...but what if I'm right? What if you felt inspired to release and in trade you received outrageous abundance in your life? Lemme explain!
In my last post, I talked about how to declutter for more abundance and how our clutter can create massive roadblocks in our flow of abundance. In this post, I want to share my tip for moving past the resistance to allow abundance to flow—in any area of your life: RELEASE.
"When we let go of what we don't need, what we do can finally arrive." – Holly Whittaker
Sounds easy, right? I won't sugar coat it. Sometimes it can be as easy as going through a closet and getting rid of anything that doesn't spark joy and sometimes it can be as hard as letting go of a toxic relationship, but I promise that any momentary heartache is well worth it.
"Resistance comes in many forms – but it really boils down to any emotion, behavior, or vibration that drags you down and clouds your judgment." – Carol Look
There are tons of resources out there that can help you declutter your life, like The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter, but when it comes to releasing toxic relationships or toxic moments within a relationship, it can be a little trickier.
We've all encountered a relationship that seems impossible to release–a stanky divorce that drags on, a break-up that continues to cycle, or a friendship where a grudge is still held. Sometimes it may even be toxic moments within a valuable relationship (with a spouse, parent, or family member) that can seem impossible to let go. We've all said things we regret later. I used to believe that if the toxic person was out of site or if I tried to ignore an issue with someone I loved that it would be enough to "fix" it. Instead, I found that their energy would still linger and I would find myself in the position of experiencing the emotional hurt over and over again like a broken record.
What I have learned recently is, that if I don't release the energy–to guilt, to anger, to being "done wrong", to physical remnants, to any part of it–that I will continue to carry it with me. The energy will hold me captive and not allow me to move forward. I become stuck in a cycle that feels like it has no end, or if it does end, I am bound to repeat the same lesson with other people.
Ding, ding, ding! What was my lesson on repeat? Disloyalty.
Today was one of those days. Someone I admire the most made me question her loyalty and I immediately felt the kind of resistance that can sabotage my flow of abundance. As a Scorpio, I value loyalty above all else. I'm fiercely loyal. I will literally fight to the death for someone I care about and take their secrets to my grave. But, disloyalty has been my Achilles heel. In the past, when someone I care about has made me question their loyalty, I would unravel and start questioning myself, my character, and my worth. Why?!
Why have I allowed people in my life, specifically important women in my life, continue to be my undoing? After crying about a billion tears today and getting some good counseling (thanks, sis!), I was reminded that my trigger is my lesson. Disloyalty keeps showing up in my life through specific individuals to teach me to release it!
I've gotta face the truth, even people with the best intentions who really care about me are going to do or say something stupid to my face or even behind my back. That's their karma. Not mine. Someone else's disloyalty should not cause me so much emotional toxicity. Sure, I can be disappointed. I can even feel sad for a time, but I shouldn't allow them to affect my self-worth and confidence. No one should ever block my flow of abundance.
If you are like me, and you feel like it is time to clear yourself from a toxic roadblock that is keeping you from flowing abundance, then follow this essential oil release protocol, along with me.
A fair warning: if it feels like the bad juju is lingering, trust the process and keep moving through it. If the needed lessons are learned, you genuinely want the release, and you use the oils, the resistance will move!
(Adapted using oils from Holly Whittaker - Hip Sobriety)
1. Surrender. Most of the time, we think we know best, especially when it comes to the important people in our lives. We often focus on the best possible outcome for a specific person but not the best possible outcome in general. The truth is, there is a grander plan in place that exceeds what our limited vision can grasp, and our attachments to individual outcomes with specific people literally blind us from the bigger plan in place. So, grab your bottle of Surrender and say the affirmation by Gabby Bernstein,
"When things aren't working out the way I planned, I trust that there is a better plan."
Or you can recite the simple but effective prayer, "Thy will be done."
2. Get ceremonial. It can be as simple like diffusing some frankincense or sage oil, or more involved like putting on an outfit that makes you feel elevated, doing your hair and make-up, playing some music, or gathering items (like your bible) that bring you support. Sit on the floor with a cushion or folded blanket and imagine the person you are trying to release is right there with you. Imagine that they are simply present to hear what you need to say, and say all you need to. Tell them how angry you are, how hurt you are, how sorry you are – as if they are hearing every word. You can yell if you need to. Whatever it is you need to get out to them that you can't in real life without getting arrested or slapped with a restraining order. When you are done, thank them, wish them well, send them love, and say goodbye.
3. Release the remnants. If you are releasing a toxic person in your life completely and you have anything that has to do with them, get rid of it. This means any physical goods they have given you (even if you LOVE the item, even if it is expensive, and especially if it is "sentimental"), all memories or keepsakes like cards, letters, pictures, and all digital items (their phone number in your iPhone, email threads, FB chats, pictures of them or the two of you together.) EVERYTHING. You can donate them, give them to a friend, or throw them in the trash. Whatever seems appropriate. Put on your Release oil and go for it!
Sometimes it is not appropriate to release someone in your life, but there is a toxic moment in a valuable relationship that needs to get flushed. Maybe something hurtful was said out of anger or frustration. Maybe it was stress related. Either way, you love this person, but you just need to let the momentary hurt they caused you go. It won't be necessary to purge tangible belongings in this case. But releasing the remnants of the interaction can be just as effective. Put on your Release oil and mentally purge your brain from things that transpired between you as if you are clicking the delete button on a keyboard. Delete, delete, delete.
4. Forgive and give closure. Offer up the relationship with a spirit of forgiveness (which is for the benefit of the giver, not the receiver) and ask that it be used for the highest good, and then simply pray for a peaceful closure. Smell your Forgiveness oil while saying something like this, "Please bring this relationship (or relationship moment) to an end. Please release me from this. Please bring closure to this situation."
5. Send blessings to them and yourself. This is probably one of the most important pieces of this entire process - and undoubtedly the more difficult. Send them peace. Put on your Envision oil and envision them moving forward in their life, the space cleared for them now to move forward, and envision them happy, full of love. Let that be your final wish for this person, for they were merely there to help you learn a valuable lesson. Then, do the same for you! Envision yourself moving forward, space cleared, happy and full of love. I like to think of it like we are passing each other on the street and as our eyes meet, we smile, wish each other the best, and then continue to pass on by towards my own destiny with a big smile on my face.
6. Take a strong salt bath. Draw a bath and dump as much salt (Epsom, sea salt, Himalayan salt, whatever) into it as possible. Salts are highly detoxifying and energy clearing. You can even take handfuls and scrub your entire body like you're removing the residue of the relationship. Then rinse off, pull the plug, and watch the water drain from the tub, imagining that all the energy from the relationship is rinsing down the drain along with it. You can even say "goodbye" audibly.
7. Rinse and repeat. Sometimes we like to dig up the "dead bodies" of our relationships and carry them around like skeletons on our backs. We are human. Don't dwell on it – aid it! Revisit this protocol and be done with it, and then move on. A little Clarity oil each day can help us focus our attention on things that align us with our best possible outcome.
8. Receive the abundant possibilities. With all this new-found space, welcome the infinite possibilities. Put on your Abundance oil and simply repeat, "I welcome infinite possibilities" as your mantra for the days following. Keep your eyes open for a miracle. It may not look like what you expect it to, but I promise it will be there!
If you don't have these amazing essential oils from Young Living, I'd love to help you get started. Please DM me on instagram or send me an email to email@example.com to get your customized release kit, today!